Stress: The ‘hard’ truth (and yes, we are talking about willy’s)

What Health expert Dr Julia Moltke doesn’t know about making todgers tick isn’t worth knowing, and she has recently announced that stress could be doing none of us any favours. The process is pretty simple – stress produces cortisol, cortisol reduces our sex drive and can prevent erections – no sex drive and no erection could mean even more stress.

Now there is a viscous little circle if ever we saw one.

Speaking of viscous little circles, Dr Moltke has provided 5 simple tips to ensure that ‘hiding the sausage’ can become more of a reality than a myth.

1 – CBD supplements. They work on our “endocannabinoid and serotonin system, which are collections of cell receptors related to mood and feeling good, which helps our overall sense of wellbeing”. Happy days. CBD for better nookie.

2 – Sex toys. In particular the new ‘We-Vibe Chorus’ couple’s vibrator has been developed to stimulate both parties simultaneously. The Beach Boys must have been using one before writing ”I’m pickin’ up good vibrations. She’s giving me excitations”.

3 – Cut back on the booze. You might think that alcohol relaxes you and improves your confidence/chat, but it is also a depressant. This means that it will probably reduce your libido and performance levels – not the effect we are going for! Less cocktails – more cock tales.

4 – Date night. You are both busy and The Unabomber isn’t going to watch itself, so schedule in a date night at least a couple of times per month. Draw the curtains, light some candles, switch the phones off and turn each other on. Handle the melons with care, get the juices flowing and if you don’t want a bun in the oven just yet then remember to take it out in time.

5 – Couples yoga. That’s not a euphemism, we mean it – do some actual yoga together. The Journal of Sex Medicine tells us that “yoga can improve sexual desire, arousal, orgasm, and overall sexual satisfaction by increasing circulation to the pelvic region, activating and engaging the body’s core, sharpening our focus, and increasing oxygen levels in the body”. Please don’t get kicked out of your local leisure centre, and don’t just lay there like a Savasana either.