With spring officially arriving later this month it’s as good an excuse as any to throw out the old and start bringing in the new. and there’s no reason that you can’t give your sex life a good spring clean too.
Whether you have a happy and healthy sex life or one that’s in need of some desperate TLC there’s always room for improvement, and luckily BESTFIT are on hand to give you a helping hand. Here’s how to banish your bad habits in the bedroom for good…
Sex coach Uta Demontis explains: “Initiating sex at times when your partner is tired may not be the best time for sex. It often results in rejection.” So if you find that you’re only having sex in the evenings and fancy spicing things up, Uta suggests: “Create opportunities during the weekend or try noticing when you both have most energy and enjoy sexual play together then.”
Everyone has their different likes and dislikes, so it stands to reason that we all enjoy different things in the bedroom. “The ‘golden rule’ of “do unto others as you would like them do unto you” does not apply to sex,” explains Uta. “For example, men will tend to go straight to a woman’s vagina as they tend to like it when women reach straight for their gentiles.” But Uta adds this might not always be the thing that gets your partner turned on. She says: “Follow the rule of treating others as they would like to be treated. In order to give to your partner what he/she wants, you will need to understand what your partner desires and then give it to them.” Simple.
“Being preoccupied on making sure you finish and not caring as much about your significant other is not just a bad habit but a selfish one,” says Jo Marsh, in-house sex expert for Licx. “You should always be aware of how far your partner is from climax,” she adds. “If you need to slow down and pace yourself, change tactics, pause long enough to stop anything happening too soon. Remember, this is prolonging the ecstasy not preventing it.” And don’t forget, giving should be just as much a turn on as receiving – use it to boost your own arousal.
Bored of not feeling confident enough to have the sex you actually want? Now’s the time to do something about it! “In order to boost your confidence in the bedroom you have to get comfortable talking openly about sex, being naked in front of your partner,” explains Jo. “Have naked mornings, where you crank the heating up and ditch the clothes. It is widely acknowledged that a healthy sex life can lead and help enhance a person’s body-confidence out of the bedroom. Being open to desire in the bedroom can help build confidence out of it.
We don’t need a scientist to tell us that it takes some people longer to orgasm than others – especially if you’re a woman – but that doesn’t mean every time you have sex it should be all about reaching orgasm. The Great British Sexpert & Relationship Expert, Rebecca Dakin says: “There is so much pressure for women to orgasm that it doesn’t allow either party to fully relax. This can leave both people unsatisfied and feeling inadequate.” So what can you do? “Enjoy the journey, not the destination,” says Rebecca. “Explore each other and take your time and take away the expectation/pressure of orgasm. If it’s not being achieved then you’re not relaxed enough, to relax fully put it out of your mind and be in the present enjoying the moment, it will come (excuse the pun) when you least expect it.”